hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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