yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
