Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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