Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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