I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
