i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
