anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
