I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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