Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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