God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
