i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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