Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
