Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
