I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize