Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
