I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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