i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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