Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
