If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
