last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
