Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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