Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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