I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
