btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
