Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
