just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
