Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry M3LLYM3L hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(916): View more from California

she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

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(925): View more from California

I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed

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(269): View more from Michigan

P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it

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(513): View more from Ohio

Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna

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(757): View more from Virginia

Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!

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