Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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