My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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