took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
