Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
