You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I FOUND THE LEGS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
