you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
