I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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