my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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