mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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