You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
