so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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