I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the room spins SO much faster in panama
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
