My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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