I hate your face
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
