Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
