I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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