toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
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In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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