Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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