I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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