yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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