I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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