You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
