it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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