dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
