even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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