There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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