you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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