Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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