The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
